What Is A Successful Marriage Essay

Factors Of Successful Marriage Essay

Factors of a Successful Marriage
Marriage is the union of two people into a relationship traditionally thought to last the remainder of the couple’s lives. In 2011, over 2.1 million couples entered into a marriage presumably with intentions of life long happiness with their partner. However, it is estimated that nearly half of those marriages will result in divorce (Centers for Disease Control, 2011). Conversely, this means that nearly half of marriages do make it and a good portion of those relationships are likely happy and fulfilling. This begs the question, “what are some of the factors that make a marriage successful?” Undoubtedly, many factors influence whether or not a marriage will result in divorce. However, some of the key factors in happy, long-term marriages include communication, friendship, and commitment.
Every movement and every word spoken is a form of communication. In a marriage, a spouse shares almost every aspect of his or her life with another person, and effective, respectful communication is believed to be one factor of successful marriages. In a 2008 study on communication difficulties in marriage, it was concluded that at the onset of marriage, couples are uncertain about the decisions they need to make together. However, over time the best decisions present themselves through private signals from their partners. The uncertainty itself did not cause a marriage to dissolve; however, it was found that inaccurately interpreting the private signals of partners could cause the marriage to end in divorce (Thompson, 2008). Learning to interpret a partner’s private signals and learning to communicate in a more effective way is an important factor in the success of marriage. Couples that cannot communicate their desires and expectations will struggle with handling the challenges presented by joining the lives of two distinct individuals.

Ensuring that the partner can understand the message is the first part of effective communication. The second part is taking care to communicate in a manner that demonstrates honesty, respect and love. Communicating openly and honestly is essential in ensuring that both partners understand where the other stands on any given topic or decision. However, honesty should not be used as an excuse to be cruel or unkind. Care should be taken to ensure that communication is delivered with the level of respect the relationship deserves. Married couples begin with a loving relationship with their partner and communication that is not representative of the shared love can result in unhappiness in the marriage.
Failure to communicate effectively is one common reason for unhappiness in marriages. When couples do not communicate their needs and desires or do not communicate them in a loving way, the relationship may become strained. L. Valant (2008) posits that failure to communicate is the primary reasons for failed most failed business and personal relationships...

Loading: Checking Spelling


Read more

Arranged marriages. Essay

1440 words - 6 pages Find her a husband!Thesis: Even though arranged marriages have their downsides, if thought about in a logical manner, the risk taken is less than that of a love marriage.I.Disadvantages of Love Marriagesa.Basis for marriageb.Idealistic illusionII.Advantages of

Explore Austen’s Presentation Of Marriage in Pride & Prejudice

3466 words - 14 pages Explore Austen’s Presentation Of Marriage in Pride & Prejudice Marriage forms the basis of the events featured in Pride and Prejudice and is presented in various ways in order to convey to readers the importance of it in society and the expectations which come with it. Throughout the book, Austen clarifies what makes a good marriage and how society views marriage as a unity of equal classes and a way to establish connections. The first...

Pride and Prejudice vs Bride and Prejudice

956 words - 4 pages Pride and Prejudice vs Bride and Prejudice - More than a change of One LetterThe film, Pride and Prejudice directed by Joe Wright, had more of a natural tone setting and feeling to it. The scenery really draws the audience in by nature and the assumed innocence of the characters. Bride and Prejudice directed by Gurinder Chadha, is considered to be a Bollywood style movie. Bride… had a complete makeover of Pride… with an Indian...

Transformation of Marriage:

2270 words - 9 pages Abstract The marriage revolution has been a controversial issue since the dawn of time, and all that are and have been involved with “matrimony” are aware of the issues of the future. There can be no denying that the culture of marriage has changed. This very course is itself a great example of this fact. Much like any other sociological subject of any real concern, there are many “opinions” related to this issue. This paper will attempt to...

A report on Arranged Marriages, and the controversy surrounding it.

930 words - 4 pages Arranged marriages are marriages that are arranged by someone other than the couple themselves, usually by the parents or family. Arranged marriages are experienced all over the globe, some countries include Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Canada and India. These types of marriages have numerous positive and negative points.In a great part of Asia, marriages are still arranged by parents and family. Arrangements are frequently made simply on...

Views of Marriage in Jane Austen's Emma

857 words - 3 pages Views of Marriage in Jane Austen's Emma The dominant theme that constantly runs through this novel is that of marriage. All of the important activities of the novel are focused around various attempts from Emma, to arrange them, prevent them, or hinder them; this idea is empathized in both chapter 1, where Emma replies in discussion to Miss Taylor's marriage "I made up my mind on the subject. I planned the match from that hour", and in...

Myths About Preparing for Marriage

4732 words - 19 pages Myths About Preparing for Marriage The high divorce rate in the United Sates and the resulting concern with marrying the right person makes selecting someone to marry an especially important contemporary issue. You may struggle with finding the right person to marry, feeling competent as a future spouse, or feeling confident that a relationship will work. This is partly due to the magnitude of the decision, the increasingly high...

Interracial Marriage

1055 words - 4 pages Interracial marriage also known as mixed marriage, miscegenation, exogamy, and multiracial, is a marriage between members of different races. It was just 44 years ago that interracial marriage was made fully legal throughout the United States, and it is becoming more common for members to marry outside of ones’ own race. The growth of interracial marriages in the United States corresponds with changes in the legal status of interracial marriages...

Should Same-Sex Marriage Be Legalized?

1685 words - 7 pages In the United States, the debate of legalization of same-sex marriage is very controversial. Same-sex marriage is a union between two people of the same gender identity. Only a few states have legalized gay marriage, but in all the other states there are many arguments over whether it should be legalized or not. The citizens of each state have many different opinions on the matter. Many citizens feel disgusted at the thought of it and there are...

Marriage Traditions in Persuasion by Jane Austen

1316 words - 5 pages England has always had a rich history of interesting cultural traditions but arguably none as prevalent as marriage. Marriage, the union of two people with emotional ideals and expectations, are brought on by many different factors that include: for love, for money, for climbing social status, escapism, survival, etc. In Jane Austen’s novels, she focuses on the importance of marriage in her world because she wanted to emphasize how marriage is...

Trends in Family Formation: A Look at Same-Sex Marriage

2367 words - 9 pages Introduction Family and marriage are social and divine institutions that are facing constant challenges due to the rapidly changing trends in society. In the past, the problems that families and marriages experienced were polygamy, early marriages, and family planning, but the current society experiences extra problems such as high rates of divorce, delayed marriages, single parenthood, cohabitation, and emergence of same sex marriages among...

A successful marriage is a natural commitment between two people who love, trust, respect, and understand each other, and who are also willing to put forth the effort to communicate and compromise in order to reach shared goals while they grow and change together and individually. However, these are only some of the key components that contribute. Carol Tavris in “Love Story” stated, “It requires a reciprocity of affection, power, and respect for differences-the basis of a love between equals the love between Annie Oakley and Frank Butler” (243).

Frank Butler and Annie Oakley died within eighteen days of each other, illustrating that even after over fifty years together their love and devotion was so strong that they couldn’t live without each other. There is no single, true definition of what makes a successful marriage, for there are too many variables that contribute. There are however, key components that are present in the majority of marriages I am witness to. Those components are love, communication, respect, and hard work.

Some couples have to work harder than others, and in my experience couples who make time for each other struggle less than those who are so busy that they forget they were a couple before life’s demands took up all of their free time. For instance, my brother and his wife get along well and communicate with each other. They still make time to go out on dates without their two small children regularly. In contrast, my sister and her husband were just on the brink of divorce, because they rarely get out of the house together and don’t voice their personal needs to each other.

Thus proving that communicating and making time for each other are key components to any successful marriage. Both couples believe that they have good marriages, but to the outside observer only one of the couples appears to be truly successful. Some couples get married out of convenience or because of the pressures of extenuating circumstances, such as unplanned pregnancies or the duration of their relationship. I have seen many of my friends divorce after marrying for these reasons. Although it is best to bring a child into a marriage, it is not always a good idea to marry in the hopes that one will be creating a proper home for that child.

All too often children are brought up in unhappy families, setting a poor example of what marriage should be. Personally, I didn’t marry my children’s fathers because it would have been unhealthy to do so. It would be worse for a child to see his or her mother abused than to not see his or her father. Similarly, exposing a child on a daily basis to an unhealthy relationship could hurt the child’s short term and long-term emotional development. What kind of example would it set for a child’s parent to settle for a person who they merely put up with, rather than wait and marry a person they truly enjoy?

No couple should marry unless they cannot imagine life without the other person, no matter how many people pressure them. A person should not be annoyed by their spouse; instead they should see their quirks as unique and entertaining, at least for the most part. My fairytale belief in true love and not settling, however inconceivable to most, is based upon the movie “The Princess Bride. ” I have held onto my belief in true love and have been ridiculed for it only to prove to everyone that it is worth the wait. If you believe in something you should stand behind it and be patient.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “good things come to those who wait. ” You should not settle for less than what will make you happy and keep you happy, at least, most of the time. That’s not to say a marriage based on true love will not have obstacles to overcome, there will always be work and compromise involved even if the relationship is so solid that compromise rarely actually seems like work. No relationship is perfect all the time, but the good times should outweigh the bad. Nothing in life is easy; therefore, anyone who thinks a successful marriage will not take effort is a fool.

Even the most successful couples come across hard times, as life is full of stress and busyness that come in the form of work and family. Children can be a burden; they have a lot of needs. Extended family can be a burden or an inconvenience at times. Most of those burdens are short lived and you just have to think forward and put forth equal effort to come to solutions with a mutual respect for each other’s views on the matter at hand. Doing so builds even stronger bonds than anyone could even imagine.

When you are in love with someone and truly understand that person it becomes easy to gauge when he or she needs you to bear a heavier load. Doing so takes the strain off of him or her without being a burden in this case. This should be reciprocated for if one person is always bearing a heavier load than the other, eventually that person will break. Sometimes this means acknowledging and listening to the other person, especially in the cases of most married women I know who only want their husbands to listen to their rants without trying to give advice.

Husbands I know who do this actually smile at their wives thinking about how adorable they are throughout the ordeal, and reap the rewards later. On the other hand, a wife may need to help ease her husband’s burdens by giving him some time to go off and play ball with his friends or whatever it is that he does to blow off steam. A happy wife and husband make for a great marriage and usually lead to happier, healthier children. Spouses who can see what their partner needs without being told do not feel it is work to help meet those needs. All too often couples enter into a marriage without realizing that it is “until death do us part.

” Marriage is a permanent commitment that is natural to desire and nothing surpasses the rewards of knowing you are completed by your partner. Wendell Berry in “Men and Women in Search of Common Ground” put it well when he wrote: Indeed, marriage is a union much more than practical, for it looks both to our survival as a species and to the survival of our definition as human beings-that is, as creatures who make promises and keep them, who care devotedly and faithfully for one another, who care properly for the gifts of life in this world.

(248) It is okay to not want to be alone, to desire a partner to share life experiences and build a family with. After all, it is much more difficult to build a family alone, although in these times the advances of modern medicine certainly make it is possible. In fact, it is human nature to wish to share life experiences with another trustworthy person. Everyone enjoys sharing a joyful experience with friends, but it is a deeper, more intimate joy when two people are bonded together for life.

If a person has made their mistakes while swimming through the dating world and learned from those mistakes they should have found a balance of needs and wants to help them find a suitable mate. A suitable mate will have the qualities needed to survive a lifetime, by adapting to change and reflecting on the good, helping to create a successful marriage. You will grow old together and should be looking forward to all the experiences you will share and be able to reflect upon in the future.

Building memories and a family together are what help hold a good marriage together, because you can always go back to the strong foundation of love, devotion, and respect that the marriage was built on.

Works Cited

Berry, Wendell, “Men and Women in Search of Common Ground. ” Essays from Contemporary Culture. Ed. Katherine Anne Ackley. 5th ed. Boston:Thomson, 2004: 244-51. Tavris, Carol, “Love Story. ” Essays from Contemporary Culture. Ed. Katherine Anne Ackley. 5th ed. Boston:Thomson, 2004: 240-43.

0 Replies to “What Is A Successful Marriage Essay”

Lascia un Commento

L'indirizzo email non verrà pubblicato. I campi obbligatori sono contrassegnati *